You probably got married as friends, but then found yourselves running into difficulty because you each had your own way of living and doing. You came from one family, and your partner came from another family, and those families were different.
Take a few minutes to think about your marriage relationship: Why did you initially marry your spouse? What qualities does your marriage partner possess that you appreciate? In what ways do you want your “own way” in the relationship? Ask God to change your heart toward your spouse in whichever way you most need it – be open to His leading.
Being
married is hard work! When you got married you probably said something that
resembled the traditional marriage vows: “I will love you, and comfort
you, and keep you in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, keep unto
you as long as we both shall live. And I take you for better or worse, richer
or poorer, in sickness and in health; to love and cherish you until death do us
part.” But, did you really realize what you were getting into?
Your
job as a couple is to create some boundaries and rules that will guide you in
your marriage. But if you’ve never created any rules before, and you or your
partner don’t like rules and boundaries, it won’t be an easy task.
One of
the reasons this process is so difficult is outlined very clearly for us in
Isaiah 53:6: “We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
each of us have turned to his own way.”We’re all human, wanting to
do it our “own way.” But the reality is one can’t have it their way and make
mutually agreeable rules and guidelines. If your attitude is “my way is more
important to me than the marriage,” you won’t be able to function as a married
couple.
The
good news is that your marriage doesn’t need to be a failure. If you find you
have the problem of self-centeredness, talk to God about it, He can change your
heart. Ezekiel 36:26 tells us, “I will give you a new heart and put a
new spirit in you.” There’s
hope my friend, and it’s in God!
Take a
step . . .
This is
a summary from Dr. Brandt’s message Marriage.
